Creating A Nation United

I recently ran into someone who I used to know in high school but have had no contact with for the past 15 years. This is someone who I considered a very good friend at the time and who I shared a lot of laughs with. It was great to see her and to catch up a bit on everything that had happened in our lives. Shortly afterward, we became friends on Facebook. She posted an article in response to the Women’s March on Washington that I was surprised to see, even though I know nothing about her political background or personal beliefs. The article was titles “Dear Daughter: Here’s Why I Didn’t March for You” by Mary Ramirez. The article’s main purpose was to discount everything that people who were at the March stood for and labeled various opinions as either lies or completely misinformed philosophies. As someone who had been at the March; I was very surprised and decided to reach out to her. The following is the conversation which took place between us…

________: By the way as far as the ones not marching….(me) I may be staying home but I’m not sitting still, I’m getting to know a newborn and raising a 3.5 year old, and definitely not looking pretty for my man’s approval. Giving him 2 beautiful children and raising them to be good natured human beings is what he approves of. This is me, at home, sitting still after an insane day of raising 2 little humans and NOT looking pretty . Makeup would sure be nice!

 

 

Meg Phillips Hi _______! I think you look beautiful! Parents do so much and parenting is one of the most important, selfless, and all-consuming jobs that an individual can take on. Being a stay at home parent is much more than a full time job! I read the article you posted and it made me really sad and it led me to the assumption that you may have received grief from people about not attending the Marches or not supporting them. It makes me sad that we, as Americas, have lost the ability to communicate in a respectful way with one another that doesn’t involve insulting people. I wanted to reach out to you because I feel like so much of Facebook has become based on grouping all people together into categories when really human beings are complex and nuanced. I also wanted to talk to you about my perspective which is slightly different from the one you portrayed in the article that you might want to consider (or not). I was inspired by the fact that almost a million people (I still haven’t seen an actual figure but there were a lot) came together in the largest peaceful protest our nation’s capital has ever seen. One thing I learned is that it is time to stop stereotyping one another and start treating everyone as the nuanced individuals that they are. I think that I have been looking at certain issues in terms of black and white and we live in a world where everything has become varying shades of grey. One point that I think gets simplified in your article is the way in which is discusses abortion and the underlying reference to Planned Parenthood. When I was 16 and having sex with my boyfriend, our condom broke. It sucks but it happens. At the time Planned Parenthood was the only place that I could purchase the Plan B pill. When I was older and I didn’t have very good health insurance I was able to go to Planned Parenthood where they gave me annual pap smears; in doing so, they caught some cancerous cells early enough and I was able to have the least invasive procedure possible to remove them. My own experience as well as the ones I have spoken about with others are shown me that the health care services at Planned Parenthood (3% of which deal with abortion) are invaluable to making sure that communities have access to health information and medical services. This is just one point that I felt like I thought you should know but I’ve written for too long already. Since returning from the March I have been reaching out to as many people as possible, some of whom have different perspectives as well as some with similar perspectives, and asking them to engage in a discussion around political concerns. I am hoping that if I can model how to engage an individual without insulting, blaming, or shaming them we might be able to address and work toward healing some of the anger and fear that is running rampant through our nation. Would you been interested in working to #makeamericakindagain with me?

________: Meg Phillips that is precisely how views and opinions need to be expressed!!  Big kudos to you! I appreciate your story and you sharing it. Keep in mind though that (At least for me) just because I share an article doesn’t necessarily mean I agree with EVERY point or opinion that is said. I, too, used to go to Planned Parenthood for birth control when I was 18 because I didn’t want to do it through my insurance as my mother would find out. I remember going some Saturdays and loads of picketers were lined up outside and yelling in my face and being very scary and disruptive saying that I was a killer!!! Just because I was going in there didn’t mean I was going in for an abortion or that I even supported abortion! And no one deserves to be belittled like that regardless of if they are or are not getting one or support it. It has been a scene that has stuck very vividly in my memory. I have lost some “people” on here due to my beliefs when we have known each other and liked each other for years. I am still the same “me”. I don’t PUSH my opinions on others. I am one who does not speak of politics or religion. And if someone wants to speak their mind to me, that’s fine. I’ll be a listening ear. You may not get much, if anything back from me. But I will always listen as long as it is done in a KIND way! I am happy to hear you had a positive experience in DC. Knowing someone who had a first-hand view of it speaks volumes! Thank you!

Meg Phillips ___________ I had a very similar experience at Planned Parenthood in the 90’s and it left a mark on my mind too. Thank you for reminding me that just because people post articles, it does not mean it represents everything they stand for. I am sorry to hear that you have lost some “people” because they disagree with your point of view. One thing that really struck me about the March was that it is time for people to stop calling one another slurs because they have a difference of opinion. However, this is not how I felt beforehand. Although I never really expressed these thoughts on social media, I still thought them. Even just thinking negatively or judgmentally stopped me from really listening to people in any sort of open or constructive way. I’m also just tired of everyone labeling one another in such narrow terms (and when I say everyone I mean the vast majority of political postings on Facebook seem to take this approach). I am attempting to start a movement that goes outside the two sided perspective and involves simply talking with and listening to people who might view the world differently from my own. Since I began this project I have read too many posts by way too many people who are using insults as a form of communication but then complain about how there is no acceptance or understanding of diversity in America. Thank you again for your response and thank you for modeling how to speak to someone with openness and respect. Listening with kindness is a skill that we all need to practice more often and I so appreciate your ability to demonstrate how its done. #makeamericakindagain